provision.

Let me take a break from recapping my days of substitute teaching to talk a little about how I actually feel about subbing. To sum it up, I have completely mixed emotions and it's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Ok...let me explain.

In theory it sounds perfect...or close to it, anyway. You don't have to work all day, or all week for that matter, you don't have to plan anything, you usually get to do fun things with the kids, etc. So what's the problem? Well, one of the things I enjoy most in life is organizing and planning. You would never know it by the state of my room right now, but I really like things organized. I like to be able to plan ahead. I like going to bed knowing what time I'll wake up the next morning, or what the next day holds. In the world of substitute teaching, you are pretty much at the beck and call (literally) of the schools. You never know when work is coming, so planning ahead is nonexistent.

I always have my cell phone with me when I do places, but around the house, if I leave it upstairs all evening, so be it. Not so anymore. I literally have to chain my cell phone to my hand. The problem with most of the districts I've signed up with is that they use an automated system. So, if you miss the call, you also miss your opportunity for a job. I now affectionately refer to my phone as my "ball and chain." I don't go anywhere without it now. And I don't really like that feeling. One good thing about the automated systems is that they have specific calling times. For future jobs, it's 6-10 pm. For jobs that day, they begin calling at 5am. That is one hour I am not willing to wake up. I just pray that I never get a call before 6. Tuesday they cut it close by calling at 6:01 am. There is one district I work for, though, that does not have an automated system and can, therefore, call at any time. They just like to keep me on my toes, I guess.

It's not all bad, though, because most days I actually enjoy the work. And it usually isn't that hard, which is always nice. And maybe the best (but still difficult) lesson I have learned, or really am learning now, is how to trust in the Lord's provision. I know that He will provide all that I need, when I need it. I guess I just need to remember that.