faithfulness.

"I am the man who has seen affliction by the rod of his wrath. He has driven me away and made me walk in darkness rather than light; indeed, he has turned his hand against me again and again, all day long.

He has made my skin and my flesh grow old and has broken my bones. He has besieged me and surrounded me with bitterness and hardship. He has made me dwell in darkness like those long dead.

He has walled me in so I cannot escape; he has weighed me down with chains. Even when I call out or cry for help, he shuts out my prayer. He has barred my way with blocks of stone; he has made my paths crooked.

Like a bear lying in wait, like a lion in hiding, he dragged me from the path and mangled me and left me without help. He drew his bow and made me the target for his arrows.

He pierced my heart with arrows from his quiver. I became the laughingstock of all my people; they mock me in song all day long. He has filled me with bitter herb and sated me with gall.

He has broken my teeth with gravel; he has trampled me in the dust. I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is. So I say, "My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the Lord."

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."


(Lamentations 3:1-26)



I love the powerful images that these verses create in my mind. When we sin, there are consequences to that sin that the Lord allows. But the goodness of the Lord will always prevail and his faithfulness to those who trust in him will endure. God's goodness and gracious sovereignty is the core of his character. He will eventually act in his own timing. But while we wait for him to act, let us faithfully serve him, and desire to know him and do his will.

good news.

A few weeks ago I wrote about reading through the Bible in a year. I'll confess, I'm a few days behind, but I'm still plugging along. I'll catch up eventually, though.

As I began to read the books of The Law, my initial thought was "I know why many people just skip ahead to something a little more interesting." But, I kept reading. As I read through parts of Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and now Deuteronomy, I quickly observed how detailed the instructions and guidelines were that God gave to Israel concerning their holiness. Maybe I've never really paid attention before, but these were very specific instructions that Israel was given for nearly everything. There are five major types of offerings, each with their own specific purpose and types of animals to be sacrificed. There are laws about leprosy, clean and unclean animals, various feasts, etc. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the Law God gave to Israel was all-encompassing. It penetrated every portion of their lives. For every sin, there is a sacrifice to make atonement for that sin.

As I read, one thought continually echoed through my mind: Jesus said, "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished." (Matthew 5:17-18)

Even more profound for me, though, was this thought. When God gave Israel a commandment, the "reasoning" behind each one was always a variation of this: "You shall be holy, for I the Lord your God am holy" or "I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt" or sometimes quite simply "I am the Lord." What a profound thought. That the reason the Lord commanded Israel to holiness was because God himself is holy.

Oh, how thankful I am for the sacrifice of Christ! Like I said before, in the Law, for every sin committed, there is a sacrifice in order to make atonement for that sin. But no one can be righteous before God by keeping the law. Instead, our righteousness comes through faith in Jesus Christ.

"But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it- the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith...The what becomes of out boasting? It is excluded. By what kind of law? By a law of works? No, but by the law of faith. For we hold that one is justified by faith apart from works of the law." (Romans 3:21-28)

I realize this post could go on forever, but my main point is this: If it were left up to us to fulfill the law, we would never be considered righteous. Rather, "through the law comes knowledge of sin." (Romans 3:20) We see the standard for holiness, but realize that we can never achieve that on our own. The gospel and foundation of our faith is this: Through his grace, God has provided a means for righteousness: through faith in Jesus Christ. What good news!

psalm 13.

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.

there will be better days.

Yesterday was a less than grand day. I woke up in the middle of the night and had diffculty falling back asleep despite being very tired. When I did eventually fall asleep, I had a series of bad dreams, the worst of which was dreaming that my dad died. I woke up feeling sad because the dream I had just had was so vivid it felt real...I hate it when that happens. Anyhow, within minutes of waking up, my mom informed me that my parents had made the decision to have our cat, Pumpkin, put down. We had him for about 17 years (I was in Kindergarten when we got him), so he's pretty much always been around. He was a good cat, albeit a little weird. He definitely had his quirks, but we loved him in spite of them. Over the last year, maybe more, his health has been declining. He looked like skin and bones and couldn't keep any food down. (Although, miraculously, he didn't throw up once the week I was here alone with him...that's the last thing I wanted to clean up!) I'm pretty sure this cat was on his tenth life, though. A couple of years ago he acted like he was getting old, could barely move, etc. We thought those were his last days. Then we introduced three new cats into our house (that's a story in itself) and he acted like a kitten again. My mom got stuck with the task of taking him to the SPCA yesterday, and I got stuck cleaning the house to remove his memory...threw away the blanket he always slept on, picked up the 3 food dishes because now we only need 2, etc. Such a sad day!

This is Pumpkin (back) with Charlie:

We'll miss Pumpkin, but not like Charlie will...they were buddies...

To top off the day, my dad's car wouldn't start when he ran an errand at lunch, so I had to go pick him up and take him back to work. My parents tell me I obviously can't get a job because then there will be nobody to bail them out :)

At least today has gone better than yesterday. I went downtown to the county superintendent of school's office and was finally able to complete the paperwork to be placed on the substitute teacher list. Now all I need to do is to actually apply to the districts I want to sub in...any more hoops you would like me to jump through?

day 40.

You may have noticed, at some time or another, that the number 40, particularly when referring to the passage of time, is significant throughout the Bible.

While I am not claiming this to be anywhere near as significant, I thought it was worthy of noting. Today is Day 40 in my "Bible Reading Plan." At the beginning of the year, I made a plan to read through the Bible in 2010. I'm happy to report that I am right on track. Each day I read between 2-4 chapters, usually from both the Old and New Testaments. I've made it as far as Leviticus in the Old Testament. Probably not the most stimulating reading, but I am committed to staying the course and following through.

I should mention that this achievement of mine is particularly important because I have tried to do something like this many times before. I usually lasted a week, maybe two, before falling so far behind I eventually just quit. Not so this time.

My advice to anyone that is doing something similar: don't give up! You may fall one, two, or even five days behind. Keep reading. Commit to reading an extra chapter or two each day until you get caught up. I've seen recommendations of continuing on the current day and going back to what you've missed. But to me, that doesn't really make sense. I don't usually pick up a novel and start on Chapter 10, then decide to go back a read the beginning. No, I start at the beginning in order to really understand the story.

My hope is, 40 days from now, that I'll be able to give you the same report. 40 days and going strong :)

eight months.

So, it's been a little over 8 months since I last wrote a blog. I'm sorry to report that not much has changed in that amount of time! A few things have happened, of course. The fall semester marked my final semester at school where I completed my student teaching. I taught in 1st grade for two months and then moved to 4th grade for the last two months. I learned a lot during that semester, but it was a lot of work and I am so thankful to be finished.

The day I finished student teaching (the Friday before Christmas) I began packing to move back home. That was a very tiring weekend of packing, cleaning, and hauling boxes and furniture! By the time I was driving home Sunday night, I felt ready to collapse. The next week was Christmas, which brought with it a different type of busyness. It was good to visit with all of the family, though.

January flew by quickly! Looking back, I didn't accomplish much, but my days were always full. I worked part-time for my mom, and spent the rest of my time taking a mini-vacation and doing nothing much.

The last weekend in January was a weekend I had been looking forward to for a couple of months. My dad took the family to San Francisco for the weekend to celebrate my mom's birthday. The main reason for visiting San Fran, though, was to go see Wicked again. It was great, even on the 3rd time around! The rest of the weekend was filled with some fun shopping and eating out, of course. Somehow I have become the elected driver in my family whenever we go somewhere, even just out to dinner here in town. Not sure how this happened, but it meant I drove most of the way to San Fran and back. I did insist on my dad driving in the city because I have never driven there before. And, of course, driving in a big city is nothing like driving in LA...

Oh, I should mention the cab ride (read as: death ride) we took from the Italian restaurant we ate at Saturday night down about 6 blocks or so to the Orpheum theater for Wicked. I'm honestly not sure how this guy's cab still had working brakes the way he abused them. Green lights to him meant speeding as fast as possible toward the next red light. Car in front of him? He'll just whip around them, no big deal. I was sitting in the back seat without my seatbelt on because I was changing my shoes from my walking flats to my standing heels. (We had walked to dinner and there was no way on earth I was walking uphill in those heels). Anyhow, we were all glad to make it to the theater still intact. The plus side to the fast drive was the lower cab fare we had to pay for a quick ride! haha

Finally, this last week I made the trip back down to Biola to apply for my credential. I went down Monday night and had dinner with my sister and then I stayed the night with her. Tuesday morning I drove over near school and visited my fourth grade class in the morning, had some lunch, then visited my first grade class in the afternoon. I left about 2:30 and drove over to school for my appointment. I had to pick up my official transcript from the Registrar's office and, since it was the second day of classes of the semester, I didn't know how long that might take. Of course, it ended up taking only a couple of minutes, leaving me with about 45 minutes to kill before my appointment. I ended up going into the Ed Dept and checking to see if they could take me early since I was already there. Ends up she could, so I was glad I asked! The appointment took all of 8 minutes and I should have my credential this week! :)

My project this week is to apply for substitute teaching. This requires me to go downtown and have my fingerprints taken (again) and to also have a TB test and physical. Oh, the joys...

first week of summer.

Ah, summer. It's been just over a week since graduation...here are just a few of the high and low points from this first week of summer:

* I spent Memorial Day packing up my room down by school and moved home for the summer.
* My system went through a minor shock when I got out of the car in Bakersfield and it was HOT.
* We've already hit the triple digits...in May...that doesn't bode well for July. Although, it is supposed to cool down (we're talking 80s) some this week, so maybe it will all just even out...
* I got a new car! My wonderful parents bought me a silver 2008 Ford Escape Limited. I love it!
* My dad celebrated another birthday this last Friday. I won't tell you the number for the sake of all involved parties ;)
* I learned my grandparents watch American Idol.
* I've gone swimming three times so far this summer, which also happens to be exactly three times more than I went last summer.
* I'm on my fourth book since arriving home last Tuesday...
* Today was my first day of work...overall, not a bad day...
* I got my student teaching placement for the fall. My first placement is in a first grade classroom not too far away from my apartment. Sweet.

Hope you are having a fabulous summer!