since monday.

On Monday Papa went to the neurologist to have some body imaging and brain scans completed to see if they could find anything. As it turns out, the radiologist (I think) said that it looks like he has Adult On Set Hydroencephalitis. Basically, this means that the vessels in his brain have swelled with liquid and won't release that liquid like they are supposed to. Since, as we all know, the brain controls the functions of the rest of the body, this affects the rest of his bodily functions. Based on what I/we have been told, this condition is fixable via placing a shunt in the brain to control the swelling of fluid. It was decided on Tuesday that Papa's condition was continuing to deteriorate and it would be in his best interest to be admitted to the hospital. Without doing this, the first available appointment he could get for surgery would be, at best, two to three weeks. In this hospital, it could happen almost immediately. So, my parents and I prepared here to be able to drop things and rush down there whenever he goes into surgery. We cancelled multiple plans, I did a few loads of laundry, and put out extra food for the animals in case we had to leave suddenly. We were all on edge waiting for the phone call.

The neurologist stopped by the hospital yesterday in order to confirm the diagnosis of hydroencephalitis. However, he was unable to do so because, while Papa is showing numerous symptoms of this, he is missing one, which is a distinct gait while walking. My comment to this was that he was barely walking because he is so weak. But, not wanting to do surgery unnecessarily, the neurologist decided that they would do a spinal tap today and insert some traceable fluids into his body. If the fluid shows up anywhere in his body besides his brain, then we know that the vessels are blocked. Unfortunately for him, the test takes three days to complete. It was done today, so we should have results Friday or Saturday. The good news for us, I guess, is that it removed some of the wait-for-the-drop-everything-and-rush-down-here-to-surgery phone call. Now, the earliest he will go into surgery, based on the test results of course, will be early next week.

One of the plans we cancelled was the fact that my mom and I were supposed to pick up her sister at LAX this afternoon. I can't say we were terribly sorry to pass that duty on to my cousin, especially since her flight arrived around 4:30 pm. Not the most fun time to try to leave LAX. We estimate her arrival here will be around 8 pm.

Today was full of errands for me. I went to the mall for a quick errand, and then spent almost 2 hours in Target trying to find bridal and baby shower gifts. The problem was that the store had almost nothing on the registries...always fun! After I got home, I cleaned up my room some more, trying to make it look at least presentable for the company arriving. I'm not sure what's for dinner, but I've been craving Thai food...

whirlwind.

Lately life has been a flurry of events. Thursday, Papa had an appointment with a local cardiologist. He was doing pretty well, considering he hasn't been feeling well. As Thursday and Friday progressed, it was clear that his condition was inexplicably declining almost hour by hour. It was decided that he should be taken down to my aunt and uncle's house in case his condition worsened and he needed to be hospitalized. He hasn't yet, thank the Lord, but at least he is down there. Anyhow, on the trip down he was almost unresponsive to my dad, awake, but not really coherently there. Almost as soon as they arrived at my aunt's house, something switched and he was like his old self, conversing, telling stories, cracking jokes, eating better than he has in weeks, etc. The whole thing is puzzling, even to the doctors. After a few hours, though, he was back to acting like some "triggers" in his brain were missing. When given food, he would sit there like he wasn't sure what to do. He had a hard time getting his socks and shoes on. He just wasn't acting like himself. Yesterday was much of the same.

Meanwhile, on Saturday my parents, sister, and I went over to my Gramma's house to have dinner with her and help her clean a little and get packed. Sunday, my parents and I picked up my Gramma around 9:30 and we headed over to the coast. We stopped in Cambria for lunch, and then drove to Morro Bay, where their house is. We were there for about 1.5 hours, and in that time we tackled the weeds in the front yard that had been growing for months. We left there at 3:00 and then headed down to the Ventura area, where my aunt's house is. That trip only took us a little over 3 hours. Anyhow, we got there, unloaded my Gramma, had a quick dinner, and then we hit the road again, this time back home. As we arrived back in town, my dad needed to stop at one of his client's offices, so my mom and I dropped him off and we went to the grocery store for milk and a few other items. We finally arrived home at 10 pm to a sweltering house. It was 95 degrees yesterday, so the house, at least upstairs, was 88 degrees when we got home. Too hot to sleep, that's for sure! I quickly changed into my pajamas and got ready for bed. I was exhausted after a long trip in the car. The official total was 449 miles and 13 hours. What a day!

In the past week, I've been working hard to finally get my closet and room cleaned up. I am happy to report that the closet has made a big improvement. In fact, you can almost walk through the parts you are supposed to be able to walk through. The project will continue on tonight and throughout the week. As soon as I get much of the crap off the floor in my room, I'm planning to rearrange some of the furniture in my room. After it's all done, I hope to post some pictures.

On top of all of this, my aunt (mom's sister), whom we have had little contact with in the recent past is going to be staying with us. She was supposed to arrive next Saturday, but rescheduled her flight to arrive on Wednesday afternoon instead. So, my mom and I get to head to LAX on Wednesday afternoon to pick her up. She is 8 years older than my mom, and have had little relationship most of their lives, not from lack of trying on my mom's end. So, it should be an interesting visit. We don't know how long she's staying exactly, either. On top of everything going on with Papa, this has been an added stress on all of my family, but especially my mom.

You might not have noticed, but I have somewhat conveniently been ignoring an update on my plan to read through the Bible this year. I'm sorry to report that awhile back I gradually slowed my reading until it came to an altogether stop. I let the busyness of life get in the way, mostly as an excuse to make myself feel better, I'm sure. However, I am happy to report that about a week ago I began reading again. And I am determined to not only read everyday, but to read a day or two's worth in order to catch up to the place I should have been at this point. Obviously, "this point" changes every day, so I'm hoping to catch up as quickly as possible. I would rather not mention how long I "took a break," but catching up is somewhat of a daunting task.

I think that's a pretty good recap of the whirlwind I've been experiencing. And I'm afraid that this is just the beginning.

summer.

There is one part of summer I will never get used to: the heat. Most people can't stand those cold winter days and look forward to the heat of the summer sun all year long. I can't stand it. Don't get me wrong, I like sunny days, but I would prefer the temperature to reach it's high around 80 degrees, give or take a few. If I want that to be the case, I definitely can't live where I do.

This weekend marked the first of summer, at least in terms of school getting out and summer break...and you could definitely tell it was summer around here! Saturday was toasty, marking my first afternoon spent by the pool. Or rather, in the pool. I was roasting in the sun when I wasn't in the pool. We finally caved around 4 pm and turned on the a/c upstairs when the thermostat reached a balmy 90 degrees. Even fans weren't helping at this point.

I think it was "only" 96 outside. I can hardly wait until we hit July, typically our month of 100+ degree weather. Thank the Lord for air conditioning...

my week (or so) in review.

I'm trying really hard to stick to my once-per-week minimum post. So, here goes...my week or so in review:

Last Thursday was my last day subbing for this school year. I was in preschool again, only in the morning, which means I had to be there at 7:00am. Anytime I have to leave my house before 7am for work, I always have to question why I'm doing what I'm doing. Ok, so it wasn't that bad, really. It's nice because the kids arrive sporadically through the morning, so I gradually get broken in to their antics. On this particular morning, the other pre-K teacher was also feeling tired, so we had a pretty low-key day. Like the kids care anyway...they just want to play! Nothing particularly exciting happened, but the kids are always entertaining. I played "restaurant" with some of the girls. They are so cute...I remember playing just like that when I was around their age. There are three boys in the class that always want to play together, but don't play well together. They definitely keep the teachers on their toes. I won't put up with their crap, so I don't usually have a problem with them. There was one little girl that cried on three separate occasions, too. She wasn't getting her way, so I just let her cry. Call me hard-hearted (I'm not really), but like I said, I'm not going to put up with crap, so she can cry all she wants and then get back to what she is supposed to be doing :)

Thursday night my grandparents and great uncle came over for dinner. Papa and Uncle Larry went down to see my uncle, a doctor, in order to try and get Papa's medications regulated again. It's been a constant up and down. My mom and I noticed when we were at my grandparents house on Wednesday night that his ankles were really swollen. Turns out he's retaining fluid again (which is what put him in the hospital a few months ago), and quite a bit of it too. Alarmed by this, my mom and I told my dad, who then called his sister and arranged for them to go down the next day to get it all taken care of. We later found out that the doctor said if he had waited any longer to go, he would be back in the hospital with congestive heart failure. Anyway, we had dinner that night, and then my parents headed over to sign the papers to buy a new-to-us 2007 GMC Yukon XL Denali for my mom. She was excited!

Friday I got a couple of phone calls to sub, one of which I slept through (amazingly), but decided not to accept because my parents and I were headed down to LA. We left around 2:30 I think, driving our new car, of course, and drove to my sister's work in Woodland Hills. We went inside for a minute to say hi, then went over to the mall to wait for her to get off work. At 6, we met my aunt and uncle (same ones I just mentioned), as well as my cousin for dinner. The next day, the 29th, was my Dad and aunt's birthday (they are twins, in case that wasn't clear), so we all had dinner together to celebrate at Maggiano's Little Italy (yum!). We finished dinner around 8:30 or so, and then drove back home.

Saturday was my dad's birthday, so we had brunch. Then we got dressed and went downtown to some antique stores. My sister has my mom's parents old dining room table, so she wants to find some chairs to match it so she can actually use it. The first store we went in was amazingly packed full, but it was fun to look around. We found exactly one chair, but my sister in not convinced she wants mismatched chairs. I told her good luck finding 6 chairs that match. I think I may have convinced her to look for 3 sets of 2 matching chairs instead. We'll see what we can find. I think some LA antiquing may be in order. Anyway, we came back home to make dinner and my grandparents came over. After they left, the four of us went to Target. We went for some hair products, and came away with a basketful of treasure. I love Target. And I love going to Target with my parents ;) (kidding)

Sunday was a fairly uneventful day. My mom, sister, and I ran a few errands, then finally were able to visit a friend with a new baby girl. Well, new is a relative term, since she was already 7 weeks old! Baby Whitney (great name, right?) is an absolute doll! After that, we came home and my sister went to pick up my grandparents to take them back to my aunt's house down south (same aunt) on her way back to LA. Monday was equally uneventful. We stayed home, did a few things around the house, and mostly relaxed. And of course barbequed...it was Memorial Day, after all :)

Tuesday was again uneventful for me. Like I said, last Thursday was my last day to sub, so I just hung around the house. Wednesday I hung around the house during the day, then my mom and I went over to my cousin's house for his son's junior high graduation celebration. We missed the ceremony since it started at 3:30 and my mom had to work, so we just went for dinner and cake.

Thursday (yesterday) was the first day where it seems unbearably hot in the house. Rather then fry around here, I got dressed, went a got lunch, went to the bank, and then went to the mall. Love the air conditioning there, as well as the shopping, of course. I then went to Barnes and Noble, found a book, then went to the cafe for a special treat for my mom. The then came home, caved and turn on the A/C for awhile, and tried to work. After technical issues earlier in the morning, it was nice to see that everything was working again.

And that's pretty much it. My week in review...hope you enjoyed my somewhat busy, but maybe not that exciting, life...

growing up.

Life has a way of sneaking up on you. I don't really mind the part where I get more responsibility, I don't really mind paying the bills, I don't really mind having a busier, sometimes "boring" life. I think the part that is hard for me is watching everyone else around me get older too.

This last weekend I was able to have dinner and spend time with a number of family members. Among those that got together, I saw my grandparents and great aunts and uncles. As much as we have all have our faults, I love them all dearly. Over the past few months, my grandpa has been sick on and off, in the hospital, getting weak, getting better, etc. The same thing has been happening to my great aunt. My grandma isn't in the best of health either. And I can't help but feel that our time together is growing shorter and shorter. And I hate it.

I realize that's just part of life, but for me, that's the worst part about growing older.

two excuses and one reason.

Yet again, it seems as though I've taken an unplanned hiatus from blogging. I always intend to get on and write, but we all can see how well that's worked out. I'm setting a goal to post at least one weekly update. Maybe I can stick to that. Time will tell, right?

I can identify at least two distinct factors that have contributed to this latest break. The first of which is that I have been a lot busier subbing. So far in May, I've subbed at least a half day on 9 out of 11 school days. What a huge difference from my last report! On top of that, my other currently-part-time-that-will-be-full-time-this-summer job doing data entry for the company my mom works for has been keeping me a bit busier, as well. No complaints here as far as the paycheck goes. And as much as I need the money, a small part of me resents the fact that I am so busy. If I'm being honest, I think it's because 1) I've become a bit lazy in the lifestyle I've grown accustomed to in the past few months and 2) I look ahead into the future and see very few "lazy" days left. I'm going to be working a full-time, 9-5 job this summer, and then I intend to go back to school in the fall, as well as continue to substitute teach. So, when I think of all that, I guess I'm just basking in my last few lazy days until around the house doing "not a whole lot" (my standard answer when I asked "What did you do today?").

The other factor in my lack of blogging is that the internet at my house was barely/not working. At times it would take about 10 minutes to maybe load a page. Forget about watching any of the tv shows I typically watch during my days of nothing. Not that I have had many of those recently, but you get the point. Anyway, slow and inconsistent internet is nothing short of irritating. I'm thankful for my iphone, where I could at least check my email, Facebook, etc. It's much too much effort to type too much on there, though, hence the lack of blogging.

Ok, those are my excuses. Now, the real reason is that I just don't always know what to say. I typically thing of my days as inconsequential, with nothing much to report. I haven't even had very many good stories from subbing. (I do have a few that need to be shared...so look for that post soon!) I mean, what's the point of subbing if you aren't going to get any good stories? So, as soon as I figure out what to say, I'll let you know.

decision time.

When I moved home last December after finishing student teaching, I had the distinct feeling that whatever move I made would determine my future, at least in part. When I last wrote, I was wrestling with the decision of what comes next. And I have an even greater sense that what I decide now will, indeed, determine the path I take.

When I think of it that way, it scares me to death that I might be making the wrong choice. But I have, for now, decided to return to school to get my Master's in Teaching. The decision seems to make the most logical sense. But, as I think we all know, the most obvious decision is not always the right one. So my prayer has been for God to open all the doors if it's the right move, or to close them and make it apparent to me that I need to pursue something different.

And, so far, all of the doors have been standing wide open. As it turns out, I was able to fill out an application for readmission to Biola, which was processed quickly, I've paid my enrollment deposit, and have preregistered for classes. I'm planning to take three courses this fall, but I have a spot in five different classes right now because I'm not sure which to take first. I have a phone appointment next Monday afternoon with someone from the School of Education, so I hope to have a better idea of what my program will look like after that meeting.

Since I've made this decision, I've been wrestling with the thought of returning to school. If you had asked me a month ago what I would be doing come fall, the words "going back to school" would have never come out of my mouth. I was so tired of school at the end of December, that the thought of continuing on at that time was absolutely out of the question. The idea of doing homework and having mounds of reading to do and papers to write still overwhelms me a bit. But, I've done it before, and I know I can do it again. I feel that God gave me this semester as a period of rest. Working part-time, making enough to pay (some of) the bills, but having some time off too, to relax and do a bit of nothing for a change. I also think its been a valuable time of making connections in the districts I am working in now.

All of that said, I'm thankful to have the opportunity of going back to school that many people never do. I have the luxury of living at home, having few expenses (although more are to come when I start making real money), and returning to school with the encouragement of my parents. I may as well make the most of this opportunity!