december 24.

Well my last post took me 2 days to get finished, so hopefully this one will be a bit more brief.  Papa's still in ICU, completely sedated since Wednesday morning.  We had a scare yesterday morning with a phone call from the hospital saying he was declining quickly.  So, we all flew to the hospital from various points around town, but he had stabilized to basically where he was before by the time we arrived.  They've done dialysis twice since his kidneys are not functioning properly.  His heart is weak and his blood pressure is erratic.  As I said, he's been fully sedated since Wednesday morning when they put him on a respirator.  Yesterday they were giving him 100% oxygen (the air we breathe has about 20%), which obviously isn't good.  The biggest problem is that it seemed like he still wasn't getting enough, and, if something were to change, there was no way for them to give him more.  Today, however, they gradually decreased him from 100% to 50% over a period of time.  This morning there was also concern that his stomach was not absorbing many nutrients from the "food" he was being given. 

It's hard to see him in the state he his.  I remain hopeful for a miracle, yet realistic that these are probably his last days.  Any improvements we see are always tainted by the fact that there are just so many things wrong and that his bodily systems are failing.  I pray he's here to celebrate next Christmas with us, where we can look back and see the miracle of his life again.  But even if he isn't, I'm so grateful to know that he'll be in heaven when his time comes.

One of the hardest things has been to keep the Christmas celebrations going as usual (at least as much as possible).  We finally made plans, with the intent of being flexible if something drastically changed.  Family has arrived yesterday, more are coming tomorrow, and more are on their way after that.  No matter what the reason, I'm thankful to have them all near. 

I must go to bed now, as it's been another long day of hospital visiting, Christmas Eve dinner, and Christmas preparations.  (Despite all of those preparations, it still doesn't feel like it should be Christmas yet...) I was banned to my room about an hour ago, so I guess I'll go to bed.  Can't wait for orange rolls in the morning!