december 26.

I am both happy and deeply sad to report that Papa went home to be with the Lord this morning.  We received word from the hospital around 7:30 this morning that he had passed away. 

The Lord is gracious, though.  As I laid awake much of the night thinking (I haven't slept much this week) I was extremely thankful that I had decided against taking the Interterm class.  I'm sure that this is one of the reasons I was not at peace about taking the class then. 

Please be praying for Gramma especially.  All week she's been having pain in her chest.  She attributes it to stress and sorrow, but we all are concerned that it's possible something more is happening.

merry christmas.

I wrote a summary of my day in a email to a friend, but I thought I'd share it here:

Well, Christmas was an interesting one.  We woke up and did stockings and gifts, and then had breakfast with us four, Gramma,my great aunt and uncle, and my aunt and uncle from Oregon.  We were just about finished when Mom got a call on her cell phone from the hospital saying that Papa's blood pressure was extremely low and that we should come soon.  That kicked us into gear, let me tell you!  Aunt Kathy and Uncle Dwayne left right away with Gramma, Uncle Cliff and Aunt Jerre close behind, then Lindsay and Dad were next.  Mom and I stayed about 5-10 minutes longer and got the breakfast leftovers put away and got most of the dishes off the table, rinsing a few, but really leaving a big mess.  When we arrived at the hospital we received word that Papa had stopped breathing but they have resuscitated him. The mood at the hospital was somber, where we spent most of the day.  Another aunt and uncle, along with 2 cousins arrived a couple of hours after we did.  We basically all took turns going into the room and saying our goodbyes or whatever.  Not much had changed most of the day, so Mom and I decided to come home around 3 and get dinner going, because goodness knows everyone still wanted to eat! Actually, we tried to keep things as semi-normal as we could.  Gramma said it best, "If he could see us, Papa would probably wonder why we were all sitting here just waiting..."  Anyway, Mom and I got breakfast dishes cleaned up and dinner going.  Eventually Lindsay and my great aunt and uncle came home.  We got a call from Dad shortly after that the 3 kids and Gramma had discussed what to do and decided that if something happened again that they shouldn't go to any extra measures to save his life.  I think once that decision was made, things got a little easier, if that makes any sense.  It's in God's hands now when He takes Papa.  It might seem a bit selfish, but a few of us were praying that he would just make it through Christmas.  It's not so much this year, but all the years following that we didn't need that to be the day Papa died.  Anyway, dinner was good and overall it was nice to spend the day surrounded by family, even if the circumstances weren't grand.  It will definitely be a Christmas we remember!

I truly am thankful for family here, although it was hard to have what felt like a hole at the table for dinner.  It just didn't seem quite right without Papa there...

december 24.

Well my last post took me 2 days to get finished, so hopefully this one will be a bit more brief.  Papa's still in ICU, completely sedated since Wednesday morning.  We had a scare yesterday morning with a phone call from the hospital saying he was declining quickly.  So, we all flew to the hospital from various points around town, but he had stabilized to basically where he was before by the time we arrived.  They've done dialysis twice since his kidneys are not functioning properly.  His heart is weak and his blood pressure is erratic.  As I said, he's been fully sedated since Wednesday morning when they put him on a respirator.  Yesterday they were giving him 100% oxygen (the air we breathe has about 20%), which obviously isn't good.  The biggest problem is that it seemed like he still wasn't getting enough, and, if something were to change, there was no way for them to give him more.  Today, however, they gradually decreased him from 100% to 50% over a period of time.  This morning there was also concern that his stomach was not absorbing many nutrients from the "food" he was being given. 

It's hard to see him in the state he his.  I remain hopeful for a miracle, yet realistic that these are probably his last days.  Any improvements we see are always tainted by the fact that there are just so many things wrong and that his bodily systems are failing.  I pray he's here to celebrate next Christmas with us, where we can look back and see the miracle of his life again.  But even if he isn't, I'm so grateful to know that he'll be in heaven when his time comes.

One of the hardest things has been to keep the Christmas celebrations going as usual (at least as much as possible).  We finally made plans, with the intent of being flexible if something drastically changed.  Family has arrived yesterday, more are coming tomorrow, and more are on their way after that.  No matter what the reason, I'm thankful to have them all near. 

I must go to bed now, as it's been another long day of hospital visiting, Christmas Eve dinner, and Christmas preparations.  (Despite all of those preparations, it still doesn't feel like it should be Christmas yet...) I was banned to my room about an hour ago, so I guess I'll go to bed.  Can't wait for orange rolls in the morning!

tuesday.

Well yesterday was just loads of fun! I spent the day trapped at home because FedEx was supposed to deliver a package for my dad.  But let's back up a minute so I can give you the full story.  It started last Thursday when I arrived home mid-afternoon to find a FedEx tag on the door saying they attempted delivery and the "2nd Attempt" was marked.  They never wrote who the package was for, so it took us a few minutes to realize it was my dad's new computer.  Well, we've never had a problem with packages being taken from our porch, so my mom signed the tag and stuck it back on the door to give them permission to leave it Friday.  Well, you already know Friday was a crazy day with Papa being rushed to the hospital.  We were headed to BJ's for dinner, so I came by the house to get the package and to change shoes.  Walk up the walkway and discover that there is no package and no tag on the door, which leads me to believe that the package was delivered but is no longer there.  Oh, great!  So I head to BJ's to get our name in, but the long wait time changed our plans to just picking up the food to take home.  When I got back with food in hand, Dad did some investigating online and saw that that day's entry looked the same as the previous two days, meaning they probably didn't deliver it.  So, he calls FedEx and, after a lot of conversation, finally gets the woman to have a hold placed on the package for him to pick up.  She said it would be available Monday.  So, Monday arrives, and with it another delivery attempt note on the door when I arrived home around noon.  Dad calls again, and they say they'll try to deliver it one more time on Tuesday.  Which, obviously, is the reason I stayed at home all day.  Except, as it turns out, they never delivered the package.  Instead they were holding it at the facility south of town that is open 2 hours each day (9-10 am & 4-5 pm).  Thankfully Dad was able to go and get it around 4:15.  Finally, we had the package!  Dad is now enjoying his new laptop computer...

Tuesday ended with dinner and going to see Tangled with a friend...so fun! 

oh, what a difference a day makes.

Friday began as planned.  I ran a couple of errands in the morning, the most important one being taking my big paycheck to the bank.  I was just headed back home as my mom called, asking if I wanted to each lunch with her.  So, I turned the car around and headed to meet her at a sandwich place near her office.  Just as I was pulling into the parking lot, she called me again, saying that Papa was having chest pains, had been throwing up, and was home alone.  So, I picked her up and we headed over...only it was lunch time, which means lots of traffic.  I'll skip all the details, but by the time we got there, Gramma had arrived home, gotten him dressed, and we walked right back out the door with them.  Arrived at the hospital emergency room a few minutes later, Papa seemingly fine.  After a series of events, they determined that Papa was, indeed, having a heart attack and rushed him right in to the Cath Lab.  As it turns out, he had 100% blockage in the rear artery that they were able to open and place a stint.  He also has 75% blockage in another artery that they haven't addressed yet.  They moved him into ICU to monitor him, where he still is today.  They are concerned about his kidney function, heart function (which was already weak and weakened even more with the heart attack), worried that the blood thinner + aspirin they have him on will cause bleeding in the brain as it seemed to previously, and concerned about his oxygen intake.  At times he acts "normal", eating pretty well, talking to us all.  Other times he is disoriented and can barely stay awake when talking to us.  Even though he may appear "fine", he is seriously sick and could still go either way. Please pray...

december 4.

(The original title of this blog was "december 3" until I remembered what the date was...oops!)

I am in the midst of working on one of the last 5 or so assignments this semester.  It sounds like a lot, but since they are all due in the next week and a half, it really isn't that much more.  I've been typing for awhile now, and sometimes it amazes me the keystrokes that I take when trying to spell a word.  For instance, groups became "gooprss."  Really? That really wasn't even close.  I'm on the last section of this particular assignment, and I can't wait to be done.  It is the epitome of "busy work."  Also, it was apparently due this last Monday, but the professor changed the due date without informing the class.  Awesome, right?  He told us to get it in as soon as we could and he wouldn't penalize us, but still.  Dumb.

In other news, we got our "real" Christmas tree today.  Mom and I went to pick it out at the lot near our house.  The guys showed us the tree, we liked it, he gave us a good deal on it, and we drove it home.  Unfortunately the trunk was a bit wider than our stand, so we had to shave a bit off the sides so it would fit.  It's standing now, though, so that's the most important thing.  Decorating still to come...

That's a pretty good summary of the day.  I woke up at 10:15 this morning, which shocked me.  I haven't slept that late in a LONG time.  Must have needed it.  We ran a couple of other errands after the tree was unloaded from the car, but nothing too exciting to report. 

december 1.

When I got dressed this morning in Bakersfield, it was cold. Frost on the windows of my car at 10am. Definitely sweater weather. But now I'm in LA. Flip-flops on my feet,
a/c on in the car, eating frozen yogurt. Apparently they didn't get the memo that it is December.

After tonight, I have just one more class session (in 2 weeks) and the semester will be over. Still contemplating the interterm class. I'm leaning toward not taking it, but just don't know for sure. I have to decide by the end of this week so I can drop whichever one I'm not taking. I can't decide which pros outweigh which cons.

I believe that as of yesterday, all my Christmas shopping is complete. I need to double check to make sure everyone is covered, but it's a good feeling to be done already! Now I just need to find the time to wrap everything so they can sit under the tree...whenever that goes up...

I was fortunate to have the afternoon to spend with my friend, Laura, at her new home. It's still a work in progress, but the work they have done looks wonderful. We spent some time arranging her decorations on the coffee table, trying to figure out where everything fit best. Sorry I'm going to miss their Open House this weekend, but I got a great preview!

There's your quick update on my day. I have to go to class now...