monday and tuesday.

Not much new in the last couple of days...

1. One more day of class down, which means I have exactly one left next Monday.  I still have those four papers, though.  It will be much more exciting when those are done.

2. I've applied for a few more jobs.  We'll see about.  I'm not giving up, but I'm not holding out too much hope either.

3. I got a call to sub for 6th grade today.  I passed.  Partly because it's sixth grade in the last few weeks of school, partly because I have a load of work to do for my mom that I'm behind on.

4. Bible study tonight.

Pretty exciting around here, folks.

a look back.

I've started to write a blog a few times, but then stopped myself.  I think I'm still processing where I'm at.  The hope and disappointment of the job are (mostly) gone.  It's like so much has changed, yet everything remains the same as a year ago.  I'm another year older, another year of experiences, another year of school and another degree finished.  And yet, it all seems so familiar, like the same place I was a year ago. 

In fact, it was almost exactly a year ago that I made the decision to go back to school.  It was just a few weeks later that Papa started to get progressively worse.  I struggled through the reality of substitute teaching and that not being what I really wanted to do.

And, looking back, I can see how so many of those and other prayers have been answered.  So, it's not as though I'm saying nothing has happened in a year's time.  Just take a look at the history of this blog and you can catch a glimpse of the long, hard year that was 2010.  Yet, God showed up in some big ways, too. 

I was talking to some friends a couple of days ago that are in a similar position that I'm in.  Maybe it's just characteristic of this phase of life, feeling directionless to some degree. My prayers have been that the Lord would guide me to where He wants me.  He shut the door to the job opportunity and there have been no other leads.  So, it seems I'm right where He wants me.  You know, "they" say that God uses the hard moments to teach us.  I wonder what, exactly, I'm supposed to be learning right now...to me it sounds like "Wait.  Just wait."

So, I will.  Even if I complain a bit along the way, I'll wait.

(18 days)

mom.

I can't let Mother's Day pass without this:

Love you, Mom!  You do so much and I am so thankful for you :)

new wallet.

I got a new wallet a few weeks ago. After 6 years of plenty of use, I decided it was time.  I opened it up today to finally switched to it and took a closer look at this info card they have placed inside:

Please, steal my identity along with my wallet.  I've place all of my pertinent information on one card for your convenience. 

Seriously, what criminal was hired to create this thing?

my accomplishments.

As of Wednesday around 1:00pm, I officially turned in the last assignment for my capstone class in order to receive my Masters.  This means that the 33 pager is done, as well as the presentation that goes with it and my final reflection of the class.  One more class down!

Unfortunately, I still have one class left to finish...so close, yet still quite a bit to do.  I have two more classes to attend and four papers to write.  Yes, four papes for the same class due on the same day.  Dumb, right?  I need to get started on them soon (as in this weekend, probably...ok probably not) so I'm not stuck doing them all at the last second.  Because I would totally do that, knowing my track record.  Although, to be fair, I've finished my other two classes this semester between 2 and 4 weeks early, so who knows :)

The last two days have been as dull as possible for me.  Yesterday I literally staying in my pjs all day, just working (as in sitting at my desk all day, wishing I was doing something else).  Today again I stayed home, although I did shower and get dressed, and thought about everything I would rather be doing than working.  I don't think it helped. 

Things I would rather be doing (in no particular order):
Reading
Seeing friends
Disneyland
Magic Mountain
Seeing family
Bowling
Crocheting
Going to the movies
Learning to quilt
Watching paint dry

I have the overwhelming desire to go do something, anything.  Tomorrow I'm going to do something.  I just don't know what quite yet.

Hope your Cince de Mayo was terrific.  We "celebrated" by eating Baja Fresh in the car in the church parking lot.  My parents were going to a meeting, I was there for the free food company. 

good news.

Saw this earlier this week:

(please excuse the nasty windshield)

There may be hope for us yet!

my answer came.

I had my interview Monday morning and was told I would find out either way by Tuesday.  I spent all day with that phone attached to me.  I finally got the call last night at 9pm that I had been both anxiously waiting for and dreading.  I knew in my gut that it wasn't the answer I wanted.  And when I heard the words "I wish I was calling with better news" my heart sank.

Even though I'd been preparing myself all day, I was disappointed.  At that moment it was final.  The hardest part was that when I heard I had an interview, I tried not to get too excited, but it was the very first time that I allowed myself to imagine having my own classroom and students.  And that's what hurt the most.

I'd been praying all along though, that no matter the answer, I would trust God.  His answer was no this time.  So I'll keep waiting, and trusting, and hopefully not waiting too much longer...

(23 days)